That's Amazing

My name is Samantha. 20. Living it up in Cali. I reblog or post anything that makes me laugh or holds importance to what i believe in. But other than that the only thing you need to know about me, is that I am AMAZING!!!!
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15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

(via teganiamyours)

Two scenes featured unexpected improvisation by Christian Bale. When Bateman is jumping rope, he starts to skip and cross his jump rope as a schoolgirl would. Bale surprised director Mary Harron even more by starting to dance as Bateman was preparing to kill Paul Allen (Jared Leto). That time, she says in interviews and the commentary, she collapsed with laughter.

(Source: jamesbadgedale, via bodynextttoanother)

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

(Source: timetoputonashow, via raymiyes)

sheyna-sterling:

gothiccharmschool:

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

hyperscraps:

missmonstermel:

winneganfake:

agender-unicorn:

skepticalwitch:

calypsos-island:

twohourartist:

isitsafe:

fandomsbecrazy:

oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old 

This should be a wake-up call to her parents.

She obviously needs help.

Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,

and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.

You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle

with goat or lamb blood,

and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.

This is great way to to teach your child early on

about geometry and foreign languages.

Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard

dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING 

Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.

She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl 

Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:

There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be. 

If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say. 

Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.

I love everything about this post

only on tumblr

I will always reblog this. 

ARE WE IGNORING THE POTENTIAL FIRE HAZARD HERE GUYS

(via raymiyes)

Too many young girls don’t know how to act when someone’s being inappropriate with them. They giggle or they try to brush it off. Don’t do that. Tell them to go fuck themselves - be a bitch. If someone’s being disrespectful to you, be disrespectful right back. Show them the same amount of respect that they show you.

—Wise words from my mom (via ecartum)

(Source: smallfreelancer, via groovywifey)